Our Chief Weapon is Surprise
by Skyler-A-Teloiv
Summary: Technology is useful for many things. One of those things is helping a fella understand a reference after 27 (lived) years of wondering. The next problem is whether or not the right person will understand it at the right time. A Soulmate Oneshot.


**I know it's been awhile. I blame and thank CatrinaSL for inspiring me to write and complete a something for the first time in YEARS.**

 **Check out her Silly Words for the Silly Soul(mate) Series. It's funny and cute.**

* * *

Steve Rogers' first ever Google search was unusual.

Then again, there have probably been weirder ones.

The SHIELD agent assigned to help him acclimate to the era had asked him how he preferred to learn. Upon admitting to a history of tackling new concepts with reading and trial/error, she declared he would "need the Omnipotence that is Google."

With succinct explanations for the functions of a computer, monitor, mouse, and keyboard (which thankfully had the same letter placement as typewriters), followed by guidance though basic operations, she then moved on to "How to Learn Stuff".

Describing the Internet as a "giant, constantly changing library," she informed him that basically anything he wanted to know could be asked of and instantly answered by Google.

"So play around with that, and if you have any questions it can't answer, let me know." She then began tapping the screen of her flat, rectangular, minicomputer iPhone thing and did not see what he typed in the search bar.

With a click of the mouse, Steve was finally able to answer a question that had been burning on his right arm for 93 years.

His Soulmate was a fan of the Monty Python comedy troupe. Or at least was familiar with what Google called "one of its most famous skits".

That in mind, he decided to see what the fuss was about.

The agent's head had snapped up when she heard the sounds coming from the computer, took approximately two seconds to assess what was going on, and burst into laughter.

"I love that one! Fear the comfy chair!"

* * *

Steve had ended that day with a Facebook page, his first Facebook friend, a deep understanding of the abyss that is Youtube, and knowledge that his Soulmate had good taste; Monty Python was pretty funny, if ridiculous.

* * *

Two years and separate alien invasions later, Steve found himself moving boxes of Thor's girl's Science Things into the lab across the hall from Tony and Bruce.

No one had intended on him being a Carrier of Science Things, himself included, but after the third near-apoplectic fit from the Astrophysicist at the lack of proper strength/finesse on the part of a mover or Norse God, Tony volunteered Steve for the job of Box Hauler and banished the former Haulers back to the moving company and small kitchen between the labs, respectively.

Tony took upon himself the job of Box Hauler Critic.

"Remember to lift with your legs, Old Man, don't want to throw out your back," the inventor ribbed between equations and sips of coffee.

"Because if that happened, Dr. Foster would have to rely on _him_ , and _then_ where would we be?" Banner snarked, not looking up from his tablet.

Steve snorted as Tony grasped his chest in faux-betrayal and set one of the boxes on the table at the entrance of the lab, not unpacking it as per Dr. Foster's explicit instructions. The only people allowed to actually touch the instruments or even venture more than three feet into the room were the scientist herself and her assistant, whose bright red knitted hat pulled over long brunette hair caught his eye for the fiftieth time that day.

Dr. Foster's unpacking fervor had prevented proper introductions, but Steve had heard the name ""Darcy" as she was asked about an item and given orders on its proper place.

She wore glasses that in no way hid the blue of her eyes, which had met his and rolled playfully more than once over the past hour, prompting silly grins from him each time.

The dame was a firecracker, he could tell. And hopefully, he would actually get to _speak_ to her before the day was over. With that, he turned and walked back down the hall, ignoring Tony's offers to order him a back brace, picked up another box, and returned in time to hear Dr. Foster grilling Jarvis on what sounded like systems compatibility.

"What about Linux? My notes on the atmospheric impact of the Convergence is on one of these hard drives, and it's on Linux."

"Apologies Doctor Foster, I do not commonly run Linux systems, perhaps we can transfer the data…"

"No we can't because there is _extremely_ specific data put through an equation I wrote myself and that coding system works best on Linux!"

Jarvis was a computer, Steve knew that, but he still felt bad for the poor guy in the face of the wrath the deceptively delicate scientist was unleashing. Darcy moved behind her boss and looked at him, hand on one hip and index finger of the other in the air, moving her lips soundlessly in a fair impression of the woman yelling at the ceiling.

Steve bit his lip as he tried to hold down the chuckles.

"Now do you think you or Tony can get me a software patch by the end of the day, or do I have to personally transfer _terabytes_ of data _by myself_?"

"I didn't expect this transition to turn into a Spanish Inquisition," Jarvis replied wryly.

It was like a reflex.

' _NO_ BODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" Two voices shouted in unison.

Tony came laughing into the room, "You've watched Monty Python, Cap? I haven't seen Holy Grail in _forever_ , we should watch that next movie night. Thor, _please_ tell me you know what I'm talking about, you were in _England_ for crying out loud!"

But Steve wasn't listening. He was staring at the woman who had shouted the words on his Soulmark.

And she was gaping back.

"Are you staring for the same reason I am?"

Steve rolled up his right shirtsleeve in response. Blue eyes stared for a moment, turned away as their owner tugged up her left pant leg to reveal the words on her calf.

The same words as his.

"Jane, what're the odds of Soulmates having the same words?"

Jane, who had turned around at Steve and Darcy's shout and saw what transpired, blinked and furrowed her brow, "I don't know offhand. Astronomical at best; I've never heard of this happening before…"

"Unlikely events seem to happen around you all the time, my love," Thor commented from the entrance of the lab, smiling joyously. "Darcy, the Fates have given you a fine match."

Tony couldn't stand it anymore, "Your Soulmarks are the _same_ Monty Python line?!"

"It's better than 'I fart in your general direction'," Bruce pointed out, joining the group.

Steve still wasn't listening. Instead, he was busy holding his Soulmate's hand, "I always thought I would be the one to say the first line."

"Me too! I said it _every_ time someone asked me more than three questions!" Darcy laughed, and Steve's grip on her fingers strengthened. He knew with absolute certainty his lifelong mission would be to hear that sound as much as possible.

Darcy squeezed back, and her eyes widened as she whirled to Jane, fist out. "We've snagged the hottest, musclely, blue-eyed blonds in two Realms."

Jane's eyes went just as wide at this truth, completed the fistbump, and both women giggled.

Turning back to Steve, Darcy stepped closer and linked their arms, shamelessly lifting a hand to touch his bicep, and tugged him toward the door. "Don't wait up, Mom and Dads!"

"Where are we going?"

"Someplace with food. So, Captain my Captain, you got a Facebook?"

"I actually do, and no, I will not help you with Candy Crush."

"Aww…"

Three scientists and a Prince watched the couple leave in various degrees of amusement.

"Four point eight-six-nine-million to one," Jarvis said.

"What's that, Jay?"

"The odds of two Soulmates having the same Words are lower than one might expect depending on their mundanity. Given the strangeness of the phrase and factoring the fame of the quote, the odds are much higher."

Tony absorbed this, "Did you factor in the generation gap? I mean, Capsicle was born before TV."

"I will rerun the numbers, Sir."

"And while he does that," Jane interjected, "you can get the rest of my boxes."

Tony's glare had no effect on Bruce's laughter. Or Thor's.

* * *

Hours later, it had even less effect on Steve and Darcy's when they returned to find Tony whining while Pepper held ice against his lower back.

Tony's pitiful picture was the background on Steve's iPhone for weeks.

Until Darcy replaced it with their first couple selfie.


End file.
